Life Desk :
A woman dons several hats during her lifetime – she is a daughter, sibling, friend, wife, working professional, and most importantly, a mother. Undoubtedly, she tries her best to fit into every role she plays, but when it comes to motherhood, she often tends to forget her ownself. According to a study, an average mother gets only 17 minutes of ‘me time’ each day as she spends majority of her time looking after children, going to work and engaging in household chores.
Taking out sufficient time for self-care is the only way a mother can charge her batteries. She needs to realize that the fulcrum is her own self; she needs to draw energy sometimes from within herself. However, after becoming a mother, a woman starts to believe that spending ‘me time’ is selfish and often fails to recognize the hazards of neglecting herself, resulting in physical as well as mental health issues. RA Nadesan, EQ assessor and a certified positive psychologist opines, “When a mother doesn’t take out time for herself, a kind of dissatisfaction, or a sense of melancholy could set in, and if she is not careful it could even spiral down to depression.”
Not taking time off for yourself may also increase your child’s dependency on you. Children should learn to be independent from an early age, otherwise they’re unable to fight their own battles when they grow up. At the same time, involvement in a child’s life should be limited to a point where it doesn’t become intrusive. “Mothers should give their children roots to grow and wings to fly. She should gain the trust of the kids, be involved to the point of being concerned, but teach them to be independent. She should not fight her children’s battles, but empower them with confidence, assertiveness and ways of seeking out knowledge,” says Nadesan. A little detachment is not only necessary for kids, but also for mothers. After the kids grow up and she is no longer young and energetic to do things which give her satisfaction, she might experience a huge vacuum in her life. Furthermore, when children leave home in order to attend university or college, parents may experience Empty Nest Syndrome. According to Psychology Today, “Women are more likely than men to be affected; often, when the nest is emptying, mothers are going through other significant life events as well, such as menopause or caring for elderly parents.” Psychologically, if she feels unwanted or neglected, that might result in attention grabbing psychosomatic disorders, adds Nadesan. Thus, it becomes all the more important for a mother to invest time and energy on pursuing things which she likes. If she has not developed hobbies, skills or friends to fall back on, a tremendous sense of despondency could occur.
Here are certain tips for mothers struggling to take out ‘me time’:
· The most convenient time of the day for a new mother to do what she likes is when her child is sleeping. But make sure you don’t waste that precious time browsing through your mobile phones or laptops. Invest that time in reading or indulging in other hobbies. Too much screen time will only make you feel more tired!
· Make it a routine to catch up with your friends. Your friends will help you unwind and you’ll come back home feeling rejuvenated.
· Go to hotels that offer childcare facilities, so that you can enjoy spa time or head massages without the worrying about your child.
· New mothers, in particular, hesitate in taking help. Please don’t shy away from asking your parents, in-laws, neighbours or friends to babysit your child for a few hours. They, for sure, won’t mind.
· Also, count on your husband – he’s the one who can turn it around for you. Pick a day in a week when your husband is comfortable in taking over your child’s responsibility and utilize that time fully. This is also essential for the father-child bonding.
· Find fellow mothers who are sailing in the same boat. Take your kids along with you when you’re meeting them, this way your kids will also make new friends and you’ll be able to discuss issues related to your kids.
· If it’s still difficult for you to leave the house, then you can order a few meditation and workout DVDs online and exercise when your toddler is sleeping.
· Similarly, you can get your beauty treatments and massage therapies at home on days it becomes difficult to step out.
However, always remember that in your quest to find ‘me time’, you shouldn’t go to extremes and stress yourself. Look at your child’s face and you’ll realize he/she is the biggest de-stressor for you!
– TNN
A woman dons several hats during her lifetime – she is a daughter, sibling, friend, wife, working professional, and most importantly, a mother. Undoubtedly, she tries her best to fit into every role she plays, but when it comes to motherhood, she often tends to forget her ownself. According to a study, an average mother gets only 17 minutes of ‘me time’ each day as she spends majority of her time looking after children, going to work and engaging in household chores.
Taking out sufficient time for self-care is the only way a mother can charge her batteries. She needs to realize that the fulcrum is her own self; she needs to draw energy sometimes from within herself. However, after becoming a mother, a woman starts to believe that spending ‘me time’ is selfish and often fails to recognize the hazards of neglecting herself, resulting in physical as well as mental health issues. RA Nadesan, EQ assessor and a certified positive psychologist opines, “When a mother doesn’t take out time for herself, a kind of dissatisfaction, or a sense of melancholy could set in, and if she is not careful it could even spiral down to depression.”
Not taking time off for yourself may also increase your child’s dependency on you. Children should learn to be independent from an early age, otherwise they’re unable to fight their own battles when they grow up. At the same time, involvement in a child’s life should be limited to a point where it doesn’t become intrusive. “Mothers should give their children roots to grow and wings to fly. She should gain the trust of the kids, be involved to the point of being concerned, but teach them to be independent. She should not fight her children’s battles, but empower them with confidence, assertiveness and ways of seeking out knowledge,” says Nadesan. A little detachment is not only necessary for kids, but also for mothers. After the kids grow up and she is no longer young and energetic to do things which give her satisfaction, she might experience a huge vacuum in her life. Furthermore, when children leave home in order to attend university or college, parents may experience Empty Nest Syndrome. According to Psychology Today, “Women are more likely than men to be affected; often, when the nest is emptying, mothers are going through other significant life events as well, such as menopause or caring for elderly parents.” Psychologically, if she feels unwanted or neglected, that might result in attention grabbing psychosomatic disorders, adds Nadesan. Thus, it becomes all the more important for a mother to invest time and energy on pursuing things which she likes. If she has not developed hobbies, skills or friends to fall back on, a tremendous sense of despondency could occur.
Here are certain tips for mothers struggling to take out ‘me time’:
· The most convenient time of the day for a new mother to do what she likes is when her child is sleeping. But make sure you don’t waste that precious time browsing through your mobile phones or laptops. Invest that time in reading or indulging in other hobbies. Too much screen time will only make you feel more tired!
· Make it a routine to catch up with your friends. Your friends will help you unwind and you’ll come back home feeling rejuvenated.
· Go to hotels that offer childcare facilities, so that you can enjoy spa time or head massages without the worrying about your child.
· New mothers, in particular, hesitate in taking help. Please don’t shy away from asking your parents, in-laws, neighbours or friends to babysit your child for a few hours. They, for sure, won’t mind.
· Also, count on your husband – he’s the one who can turn it around for you. Pick a day in a week when your husband is comfortable in taking over your child’s responsibility and utilize that time fully. This is also essential for the father-child bonding.
· Find fellow mothers who are sailing in the same boat. Take your kids along with you when you’re meeting them, this way your kids will also make new friends and you’ll be able to discuss issues related to your kids.
· If it’s still difficult for you to leave the house, then you can order a few meditation and workout DVDs online and exercise when your toddler is sleeping.
· Similarly, you can get your beauty treatments and massage therapies at home on days it becomes difficult to step out.
However, always remember that in your quest to find ‘me time’, you shouldn’t go to extremes and stress yourself. Look at your child’s face and you’ll realize he/she is the biggest de-stressor for you!
– TNN
