Sushmita Bose :
I find it annoying that Whatsapp allows anyone – absolutely anyone in the world who has your phone number (incidentally, mine is part of my work/personal email signature details) – the right to access your personal communications space.
Unlike BBM, that has a defined group of people you choose to incorporate into your inner circle, Whatsapp barges in without notice. It’s like gate-crashing a private party. Of course, you can always opt to “block” the gatecrasher out, but why even get there, and invoke bad karma? Isn’t there a classier – read: selective – way of choosing who you want to be in touch with?
Well, clearly not. Not at least on Whatsapp, that, reportedly, has more than 600 million (and growing) active users globally, and has secured the ‘most popular messaging app’ position, followed by WeChat (468 million users) and Viber (209 million users). My beloved BBM appears to be nowhere in the reckoning, leading me to draw out a rather disturbing conclusion: maybe people like being gate-crashed. By random folks.
Sometime back, I was greeted by a Whatsapp message (obviously from a number I had no idea even existed) urging me to buy a brand of Argan oil: there was a sale on, whereby if I bought a 100ml bottle, I’d get a 50ml bottle free.This was not a pitch by the brand’s marketing department, but from the woman who was manning a kiosk around which I was hovering, pretending to be shopping-friendly since I had time to kill. And I gave her my business card when she asked for it because I was guilty of mental subterfuge.
The strangest social media incident happened last week. A Facebook friend (who had taken my business card when I was on vacation in India) started Whatsapping me, literally bludgeoning me with verbal hits, demanding to know why I never ‘like’ his wall posts.
At first, I had no idea who it was – since I don’t even have his number stored; I just saw a random number popping up with a semi-angry outburst. “Who’s this?” I typed, feeling utterly, utterly ridiculous. As soon as I found out, I went to his FB page. It was full of “The birds are chirping, the sun is shining… Good morning!!!” and “I am at the zoo, and I can see a tiger – Tiger, Tiger, burning bright”. With a heavy heart, I ‘liked’ them all, and received a ‘thumbs up’ on Whatsapp. I know that Facebook acquired Whatsapp last year: couldn’t help thinking if this is all a virtual conspiracy.
Social media is also equal to social behavioural research. Facebook, for instance, has spawned an entire tutorial in etiquette that I find fascinating. The other day, a friend of mine – who I would, to use the FB breakdown system, classify as being among my ‘close friends’ – asked me if she should accept a FB request from someone she just met at a gathering. “I mean, I don’t really know her, but I don’t want to be mean… what do you think?”
“Do you want to get to know her?”
“Er, I haven’t the faintest idea. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should actually, since she was nice enough to send me the request? Yes, I think I will!”
That set me thinking. What are my rules for accepting FB requests from (relative) unknowns? If I wanted to get to know someone because I liked him or her instantly (at first acquaintance), I would accept in a flash. If it was a contact who would/could be of use to me, I would accept after a minute’s deliberation. If it was someone with at least five “mutual friends” – all of whom I liked reasonably – I would accept in five minutes.
Then again, there have been instances when I have refused to befriend people I know more than well, even though I know it’s really rather rude to not be gracious/accepting enough. Like a not-so-distant aunt who’s been trying to sell me insurance for decades now. A cousin who, I’ve been told, has stalker-like tendencies. You have to draw the line at sociable-ness somewhere.
(Sushmita Bose is Khaleej Times’ features editor and editor of wknd. magazine [email protected] )
