Sallyann Della Casa :
Congruency is when what you say and what you do are aligned. As an example, my leadership is often controversial (or feather ruffling). I am always thinking about turning things on its head by asking very uncomfortable questions. A few years back, when I was honoured at a TEDxWomen event in my home country, I asked a simple question in a room full of older women with big titles: “How many women in this room know the hopes and dreams of the younger women who work for them and, more importantly, what have you done to further those dreams and hopes?”
The room fell silent, and I do have to tell you that some of these women still, to this day, do not speak to me. But someone had to address (and it might as well be me) the fact that the majority of the women who were present that day, and showed up to these women’s empowerment events over and over again, were actually the ones keeping younger women down and treating them horribly.
Congruence means your whole self is in agreement and harmony. You are not congruent if you are pretending to be who you are not. A married politician sending inappropriate photos of himself to strange women on the Internet but preaching family values is not congruent.
A business owner preaching responsible business but writing bad cheques is not congruent. A young female receiving an award for being at the top of her class, who knows she cheats, is not congruent. You know when you are with a congruent leader. There is a sort of ease, lightness, and confidence around these types of leaders. Congruent leaders understand very clearly which way their true north lies, and every action of their leadership reflects the same direction. It is extremely attractive and predictable.
Oprah Winfrey is a congruent leader. Her video clearly matches her audio. We all know that in every single thing she does, she tries to empower every single one of us. Richard Branson is a congruent leader. We all know we can expect some fun with the Virgin brand. Malala is a congruent leader. She is on a mission to ensure every young person gets access to an education.
However, just as we have good congruent leaders, we also have bad congruent leaders. Take a look at Donald Trump or Hitler. Without a doubt, these are two clear examples of congruency in inciting racism.
Here are some questions to ask yourself, to determine if you are congruent:
1-Is your outer self a true reflection of your inner self? Check yourself over the next week and, before doing something, ask yourself: What am I thinking? Are my actions and words lined up with my thoughts?
2-If all your emails and communications were under public scrutiny would your friends, staff, business associates, investors, and/or family be concerned, shocked, or disappointed about your character?
3-What is important to you? If measured by how you live your life, how much time and effort do you devote to what you consider important?
Your congruency adds to your credibility and integrity. It allows others to trust you. Coupled with methodical, deliberate practise, you are saying to the world: “I am not giving up in trying to live up to my leadership potential, and this is what it looks like, whether you approve or not.”
Before long, you will wear down those who matter, who were doubtful or challenged your agenda. Here’s a small activity to keep a check and balance on your congruency:
One way to ensure your inside story matches your outside story is to develop your own personal manifesto, to live by, day in and day out. The manifesto is a published verbal declaration, setting out your true north and life stance on paper. It sets forth your intentions, motives, and views, which you then live by daily.
The manifesto will first answer for you the big statements of your life, such as: ‘I believe…’, ‘Here’s what I stand for.’, ‘Here’s what I know for sure.’, etc. Create a manifesto you can breathe in and out every single day in your thoughts, words, and actions. Make sure to design it beautifully, and frame it where you can see it each day.
(Sallyann Della Casa delivers 21st century skills through her edu-tech app, GLEAC)
