P.G. Bhaskar :
There are ‘word folks’ and ‘picture folks’. For some people, words – well-knit and elegantly framed in a sentence – can seem magical. Others get turned on by pictures. I’m a word man myself. A polished phrase, a new unexpected metaphor, a charmingly worded thought can fill me with exhilaration and keep me thinking about it for quite a while.
Pictures are great too, in their own way. I find many of them interesting, some are wonderful, but to me somehow, they don’t carry the same magic as words. Yes, yes, I know that old saying about a picture being equal to a thousand words. Well, that’s all very well. But it’s not as if we follow and adhere to every one of those old sayings. (Do you?) Right. So coming back to the subject. Ever since I got onto Facebook some four years ago, I have been flooded, absolutely swamped, with pictures. I thought Facebook would be about connecting with friends and pooling of ideas and exchanging funny comments. Well, there is a bit of that, of course. But mostly, it appears, it’s about pictures. And more pictures.
I never realised how much people love themselves, or at least, their pictures. In the good old days, one had to get someone else to click one’s picture; that used to be a restraint. But this is the age of the selfie! You stretch, you pout and you click. A moment or two later, voila, there it is on Facebook. Your latest picture. Ready to conquer the world!
This started innocently enough. Now it has reached maniacal proportions. It has turned into some kind of photo epidemic. People routinely post their pictures – looking charming, romantic, smouldering, dashing, cool, hauntingly beautiful, achingly desirable. Picture after picture. There is no respite. And how can there be when they keep getting such positive comments. (“You look so-ooo young!” “Mmuaah! You beauty!” “So hawt, babe!”). Who wouldn’t get carried away with blatant lies?!
Only slightly better than people’s own pictures are pictures of their children (“Cuuuute!” “Ohhh! Can I keep him?!” “Chweeet! I wanna pinch her cheeks.”). For variety, they post pictures of themselves when they were young. It is an incessant barrage. Here a jean-clad man wearing shades against the backdrop of a masculine, roaring waterfall. There a picture of a middle-aged lady staring dreamily, sitting next to a beautiful flower. The association is meant to be symbolic. And you’re supposed to get it and coo. (“Dude! Ready for Bollywood!” Prettier than the flower!” “OMG! Such a trendy outfit! Suits you!” “How come you never age?!!!” You’ve lost so much weight since I last saw you! What’s the secret? Tell us!!!”
Of course, one needs a particularly strong constitution to withstand pictures of those heart-shaped chocolates or that of the balding, middle-aged man feeding a piece of creamy cake to his wife who looks as if she has already been fed far too much of such high calorie foods. Talking of food, this is another massive category of forced picture feeds. Our wonderful friends bombard us with pictures of food that they probably subsequently gorge on. Indian, Italian, Chinese, Mexican … (much of it looks like an interestingly colourful mess). Then there is street food, fusion food and odd shaped home-made baked stuff that looks like nothing one has ever seen before (though their names are familiar). Then of course there are flowers (without people this time). Flowers of various hues, shapes and sizes. Flowers from gardens and parks. Flowers on balconies and terraces. “My first rose! Grown in my balcony all by myself!” To which of course, you have to respond suitably by saying “Wow! You’ve made my morning. I can almost smell it!” From flora to fauna is but a step. Daily, without fail, I get pictures of dogs. Dogs owned by friends as well as dogs disowned by some people and looking to be owned by others. Dogs on the bed, in the bathtub, dogs wearing a red, woollen sweater. (“Look at my Poofy! Isn’t she just adorable?!”). Cats are a close second followed by wild animals seen on safari.
In the last couple of years, I have added several authors and wannabe authors on my friends’ list. So another common picture is book covers accompanied by “My new book! Available at most online sites. Please buy!” (Comment: “Looks great! Will definitely pick up a copy!” “Sure to become a bestseller! “Proud to have you as my friend! “Where is my autographed copy?”)
(P.G. Bhaskar is the author of Corporate Carnival and Jack Patel’s Dubai Dreams)
