Sadat Hussain Rafsanjani :We all know the common story. A boy meets a girl; they fall in love and eventually get married. And they live happily ever after unless they got ended with each other in divorce. It is boy girl thing. But what exactly attracts a man to a woman and the vice versa?Attraction has a definite explanation. We can trace back its origin to the reptilian ages. Attraction comes from two very basic things, status and health. Status can be internal or external. Internal status includes things like self-confidence, skills, and beliefs. These are considered most important in a man or woman. They symbolise power, intelligence and authority. On the other hand external status is like things we can envy for or look for often. They include job, material possession and visual markers. Between these two statuses the most important is confidence. And what exactly do we think confidence is? Confidence is getting as close as we can to master a skill. That is why we feel more accurate when we achieve something and demoralize when we fail.Health is important too as we easily adore a healthy person. We appreciate the body builder for maintaining his branded muscles. We also not want to miss the glimpse of a hot slim chick. People generally avoid stinking person. Research also showed that attractiveness is correlated to body weight, life success and personality. And there is also involved emotion. There are four types of Emotional connection. Trust and comfort which enables us to trust someone and we find comfort with them. Emotionally intelligent that is the ability to make others comfortable, Uniqueness which gives us the feel that who we are really. Last but not the least uncertainty is the crucial part that blends a little mystery. It is the emotional stage where we are encouraged by the brain to form relationship. Logic assists us to make decision. It is like if we watch the hot picture of Scarlett form GI Joe or Wonder woman we might what to get another view but persons will be very few who would really like to spend all life with them. So, when does a woman look more attractive? Why do they sometimes look very beautiful, sometimes messy and sometimes unattractive? Research showed that a typical woman feels more urge to get intimate during the mid-cycle of ovulation period and they become more attractive physically.But there is complex too. Most often we judge a person (man or woman) by their orientation, facial or physical, directly called visual. This is called halo effect. Halo effect is a form of cognitive bias. It is a specific type of confirmation bias where the observer judges a person by means of any physical characteristics and imposes their judgment of the character over them. If the observer likes any aspect of the character or person then he or she establishes and implies a positive feedback. And if they don’t like the traits the thing goes the other way around. It is like a girl likes boys who wear black nail polish. When a typical girl encounters with this black nail polish wearer he might not get a positive feedback from that girl but for the gothic culture follower or the black nail polish liker he definitely will be interesting.Attractiveness deeply associated with halo effect. The effect is so evident that it is not only confined to human but also materials too. This is the reason we buy or trust branded wardrobe, cars, cosmetics, laptops, lodges good hotels and travels on transport. Everything we care attracts us because we live on halo effect. Halo effect worked pretty mush well on brand marketing of Apple products. At first there came IPod which introduced a whole new era of electronics. Day by day people got accustomed to have positive feedback and experience by using their product. And as a result, fore than a decade after the release of IPod, people are eagerly waiting for the apple smart watch. They don’t use it before, they don’t know will it be good or bad but they are in a halo effect, positively biased to the Apple Inc.Similar things happen to fiction lovers as well. It is very common from young to adult that many boys and girls fall in love of a character. The counter-part we select has some distinct meaning as well as has a history. We will discuss about on it later part. But, first we try to analyse the perspective of a man. We will generalise that the test case is straight; he or she is not into any disorder to choose the counter-part.Writers know that women are fond of reading book more than man as they are emotionally easy to be touched. A women always dream of a perfect guy. Writers exploit this common, more likely main driving force to attract the women to their character. Girls easily get biased by the male characters. When asked a typical romantic fantasy reader about the attributes she would like to see in her dream boy she replied that the dream boy must have an eye catchy beautiful smile and must be a very good man. The age gap between them should be at least five years. Writers tend to exploit their prey that an honest man has these attributes. He is generous, kind, helpful to others, never hankers after women, always wears a distinct colour to symbolise something, at some extent establishes himself, may be a very well rounded man who has immense level of knowledge, a funny guy who wants to be the joker (in the sense of literature it is introduced to the reader as great sense of humour), has touchy eye look etc. What a pity! Women have some different philosophies as well as characteristics apart from man. Their imaginative power is superior to man. Surely when both man and woman are in love the girl always expects that all the time the boys will propose them. In this way women are submitting their immense desire of to be loved by someone. To exemplify we can quote, certain fanatic female supporter rushes to the airport to welcome the winning sport team while holding placard that contains ‘Marry Me X.’ Surely enough, a man can never show that courage generally to his movie crush when she is coming out of airport gate. If someone doing that he is doing it to prove the point that he can, nothing more.The man or boy suppose look for certain traits and attribute in his counter-part. When it comes to the fiction, generally the attraction is very strong because we cannot see it or touch it all the time it is in mind. Imagination is very powerful thus it drives a man to fall in love with a female character. No rules will be applied to resist this attraction. A man will try to feel her consciously or subconsciously. He may not be interested to project the character in every lady he meets but definitely try to look for her subconsciously. He will try to imply the character. An example can broaden the mind of the reader. The classic gothic novel ‘The Jewel of Seven Stars,’ penned by famous writer Bram Stoker has one central character called Margaret Trelawny. The character represents an ideal Victorian aristocrat woman who has a strong personality, good taste, she is attractive and independent but show off men can never be close to her. The more we will try to explain her character it will be attractive to the reader because we don’t in fact we cannot have a proper glimpse of the woman. She will always be remained a mystery, confined to the black and white. May be not all the time, it is infatuation that makes us fall for something at first. It is like reading a character for the first time in life, meeting someone on the street or buying a new beauty product. If we buy the same product on regular basis or visit the same place in a few days it will be boring for us.There are exceptions like man falling for the man character or women trying to pose as the women character. These people have very weak personality. In real life they can be biased easily. They often try to show off, leave in the false impression and try to do everything they read. They are over conscious about their externalities. Relationships are on them, they are not in relationships. They are so biased that they think they are the smartest, coolest and perfect person. These people are neither academically active nor sporty. They do what they see other is doing.The most authentic founding’s about the psychological aspects of man woman relationship were first explored and later established by Austrian neurologist Sigismund Schlomo Freud, commonly known as Sigmund Freud. His most controversial idea about human psychosexuality was depicted in Oedipal complex. He implied that a child feels intense feeling of desire for his parent of opposite sex during the age of three to five and envy the parent of the same sex. The phenomenon is evident as generally sons are fond of their mothers and daughters are close to their father if in the early stage the children face neither excessive prohibition nor stimulation. If the children face any infantile trauma he or she may build a disorder in their later adult life. Human adult life is largely dominated by super ego. This neurosis has control over the super ego of a person. That is how in the adult life a person decides who will be his partner, if they become gay or lesbian or a straight.And there comes the conflict between ego and personality. Ego is bad while personality is considered good. Ego is like feeling that you are better than someone else where personality projects one true self: criminal personality, scholar personality, bossy personality etc. Let analyse another example. A person has a distinct personality and nothing can bias him easily. So the person decides not to be biased to fall in love, drink alcohol or smoke. Actually he is biased in his own way that is controlled by his personality, good or bad. It means we were always biased in either way. That is a complex.Biased people (both positively and negatively) are sometimes so confused about the things they are biased to. It is like one knows alcohol is prohibited in Islam, generally considered injurious to health although he drinks it to experiment. They are confused that is why they often make poor decisions. Confusion leads to depression. Whenever someone is confused he makes poor decisions and the outcome is not produced as he expects. Thus they become depressed. Some people even don’t take the risk to make the decision and they remain confused but depression free.n[The title of the write-up is inspired from Marilyn Manson song]
