Wares Ali Khan :
Parents are the mentors, guides, and teachers of their beloved children. True parenting implies the art of treating a child in a socially preferred way. In the mode of sincere parenting, merely instructing children may not work. Parents have to demonstrate to their kids what they want to see them. Humans tend to learn and incorporate anything by imitation. Our children in that sense are no different. They watch everything from us, take note of our behavioral approach, mutual dealing, and social conduct, and thus conceive a parallel reflection incessantly.
As parents, we have to be dedicatedly responsive to our children’s signaling and sensitive to their needs. Children reared up by parents who are consistently better responsive tend to have spontaneous development, social skills enhancement, and sound mental health and well-being as well. Henceforth, we need to talk to our kids and listen to them carefully. By maintaining an open line of communication, we ought to build a sound relationship with our children which will encourage them to uncover their feelings and understanding in a plainspoken manner.
Choosing a friend or company is in fact a prime factor for our kids. We should make them know to have the right company, and give them a choice by clarifying the favorableness and drawbacks of certain relationships. To allow our kids to be confined in a separate room means to lock their future. So, they never should be left alone. Let our kids have an opportunity to enjoy faithful and honest companionship.
Let our children understand that self-confidence is not offered and is to be attained instead. Inspiring the reading habit of our kids is very crucial. Consciences contained in books or lessons learned will enkindle their minds, and reshape their finest comprehension and unbound thinking ability.
The first and foremost domicile of acquisition of values is of course home. A substantial part of being ideal parents remains in training concrete ethics of the society in our children. The aptitude for moral understanding to distinguish between good and bad will stand out the attitude of our kids meaningfully. In that case, we have to set up ideals first at home which our kids integrate subconsciously.
In particular, we, along with our kids, have to practice our religious beliefs and relevant rituals which may humanize our kids and originate them as decent, responsible, and righteous social beings. We should always help them to instill inside-respect, compassion, kindness, honesty, trustworthiness, sympathy, and empathy. It is our responsibility to enrich our kids with those noble features, and upright character, and educate them to be humankind sensitive.
It is very urgent to refrain from executing corporal feedback on the actions of our children. Children who receive spanking or hit are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to become bullies and use verbal or physical aggressiveness to solve disputes. Later this may lead to delinquency and forming anti-social behavior.
By the way, we should not lose the rope of parental control. Adolescents or youth age is certainly vulnerable to committing wrong – this stereotype notion is almost natural believed in no way. Encouraging correction is preferably sought at all stages whenever our kids make mistakes. What love can do, somatic attempts never can. So, the approach of loving our children should be applied at all times and we must be kind and firm when enforcing patterned treatments on them.
We should respect each other in front of our children. We have to be always conscious of the language and tone we use with each other at home. We have to show our fine temperament in front of our kids, avoid talking ill about a person in front of them and refrain from using evil language. In this way, our children will be tuned up to the right messages from us.
Conflict and disagreement are part of conjugal life. But if children see quarreling and arguing at home, they get panic-stricken and feel incapacitated. Crisis and chaos in a family relationship will ensue horrendous impacts on the physical and mental state of children. Therefore, we should not bring forth such unsought and repulsive perspectives to our kids.
As digital acquaintance matters bigger, we have to decide first whether our children are ready for a personal digital device or not. We should deal with their teen maturity, and encourage digital literacy and the content that our children are interested in must be age appropriate. We should deliberately monitor their social media behaviors. Setting limits is the key to best practice in this regard.
Parents need not necessarily be perfectionists in parental mechanisms. What they need is to strain to make decisions considering the best interest of the children. But paradigm shifts of supporting and cozy parenting for the kids are a major concern. Encouraging our children’s social interactions and modeling patterned social behaviors by establishing firm ground rules and limits are unflagging issues.
(The writer is an academic & psycho-social counselor).
