Jenn Granneman :
Anxiety is the voice in the back of your head that says, “something bad is going to happen.” It’s what keeps you awake at 2am thinking about something embarrassing you did – five years ago. For many introverts, anxiety is a part of their lives. And indeed, anxiety is more common among introverts than extroverts.
Sometimes anxiety is obvious (think: panic attacks and sweaty palms), but that’s not always the case. Many people live with a secret form of anxiety called “high-functioning anxiety.” Outwardly, they appear to have it all together. No one can tell from the outside that they’re driven by fear. So what are the signs? You’re always prepared: Your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario in any given situation. As a result, you may find yourself over-preparing. People see you as being the reliable one – and often your preparations do come in handy – but few people (if any!) know that your “ready for anything” mentality stems from anxiety.
You may be freaking out on the inside, but you’re stoic on the outside: Interestingly, many people with high-functioning anxiety don’t reveal just how nervous they are, which is another reason why it’s often a secret anxiety. You may have learned to compartmentalise your emotions.
You see the world in a fundamentally different way: Your anxiety isn’t “just in your head.” Research found that people who are anxious see the world differently than people who aren’t anxious. In the study, anxious people overgeneralize emotional experiences – even if they aren’t threatening.
You constantly feel the need to be doing something: Which can be a real problem if you’re an introvert who needs plenty of downtime to recharge. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re attending lots of social events; instead, you may feel a compulsion to always be getting things done. Staying busy gives you a sense of control. Outwardly successful: Achievement-oriented, organised, detail-oriented, and proactive, you may be the picture of success. Problem is, it’s never enough. You always feel like you should be doing more.
Afraid of disappointing others: You might be a people-pleaser. You’re so afraid of letting others down that you work hard to make everyone around you happy.
Chatter nervously: Even though you’re an introvert who prefers calm and quiet, you chatter on and on – out of nervousness.
You’ve built your life around avoidance: You’ve shrunk your world to prevent overwhelm. You stick to routines and familiar experiences that give you a sense of comfort and control.
Prone to rumination and overthinking.
You do a lot of negative self-talk: You often replay past mistakes in your mind, dwell on scary “what if” scenarios, and struggle to enjoy the moment because you’re expecting the worst. You’re a perfectionist: You try to calm your worries by getting your work or your appearance just right. This can bring positive results, but it comes at a cost. You may have unrealistic expectations of yourself, and a catastrophic fear of falling short of them.
Aches, repetitive habits: Your anxiety might manifest physically in your body as frequent muscle tension or aches. Similarly, you might unconsciously pick at the skin around your nails, tap your foot, scratch your scalp, or do other repetitive things.
You’re tired all the time: Your mind is always going, so you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Even when you sleep well, you feel tired during the day.
You startle easily: That’s because your nervous system is in over-drive. A slammed door, an ambulance siren, or other unexpected sounds really rattle you.
You get irritated and stressed easily: You’re living with constant low-level stress, so even minor problems or annoyances have the power to frazzle you.
You can’t “just stop it”: Anxiety isn’t something you can tell yourself to just stop doing. In fact, people who are anxious have somewhat different brains than people who aren’t anxious.
(Jenn Granneman is the author of the bestselling book, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World. ourtesy: Psychology Today).
