Life Desk :
Think your relationship with your partner is stuck in a rut? Here are five simple tricks to strengthen your equation with each other. When you and your girl first met, it was electric. And it was easy: you wanted to be around each other all the time, couldn’t keep your hands to yourself and you found yourself, smiling in your cubicle as you read her latest text (or sext).
But, time goes on. You have your first fight. You have trouble in the bedroom or you struggle to communicate how you feel. While fighting is absolutely normal in a relationship, if you’re feeling like you’ve started to lose some of the lustre you both had for one another -don’t let it overwhelm or defeat you. In fact, many relationship experts agree that while deal-breaking type of issues (like one of you wants kids and the other doesn’t) aren’t as easy to over come, other problems can work themselves out. So no need to drag out a conversation or bring out those skeletons in the closet. Instead try these simple tactics to make your relationship stronger:
Have A ‘High-Low’ Conversation
She left the entire contents of her closet on the floor before heading off to work and you come home to a mess. She drank too much wine and picked a fight via iMessage and you just can’t let it go -we all have grievances in relationships. And while neither of you is perfect, a perfect way to remember those things you really love about each other is talking about them. Relationship expert and therapist Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell says having a highlow conversation will get you back on track. “Take turns sharing something you love about your relationship and actually revel in the memory of the high,” she says. “Then move to the ‘low’ something in your relationship that you’d like to improve. Take time to discuss and strategise ways that you can address the issue.”
Go ‘off the grid’
Even if you’re in a monogamous relationship, chances are you actually aren’t. You’re both fondling your iPhones far more often than you’re touching one another.Abrell says by stepping away from technology for a weekend (or OK -just a day if you can’t make it) -will help you reconnect.”Many couples engage in way too much screen time. Commit to going ‘off the grid’ for a weekend,” she says. “Take a trip away or just stay home without texting, emailing, tweeting and posting. Do anything other than spending time on your phones, tablets and computers!”
Ask more questions
Have you taken time to get to know the woman you sleep next to every night? Abrell says it’s time to go back to school: “It’s time to ‘study’ each other! Read chapters in relationship books together and discuss. Buy question books and ask each other to respond. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn and how much closer you become.”
Send intimate SMS-ES
While you and your girl may have exchanged steamy messages in the early days of your torrid courtship, over time, your curiosity and passion may wane. Author and communication and intimacy expert, Sandra LaMorgese, PhD, says rebuilding the anticipation throughout the day will have you both looking forward to action after dusk. “A good way to keep your relationship dynamic and exciting is to remember that the steamiest seduction begins long before you lay a hand on your partner. Send your partner spicy little texts throughout the day,” she says.
Say ‘Thank you’
Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer believes that expressing gratitude is just as important as expressing love. In fact, gratitude is a form of love. “Your partner might not be doing monumental things: cooking dinner, folding and putting away the laundry, making the morning coffee, keeping the apartment clean, but they do matter to you, don’t they?” she asks. “Remember to thank your partner instead of just expecting household chores to be done and, often times, taking them for granted.”
—Mumbai Mirror
