Life Desk :
What are the signs of maturity? Do you need to work to acquire maturity or does it come naturally as you grow up?
People shouting at and over each other on news channels rather than engaging in intelligent discussions, horrific incidents of road rage, and increased instances of public shaming indicate a dangerous dive in maturity levels. When politics and blame games take over and we close our eyes to real problems, that’s indeed a sign of an immature nation.
While the world respects us for spiritual quotient, are we endangering our own legacy by setting aside maturity and far-sightedness in favour of puerility and short-term benefits? Rather than take responsibility for our actions, we are happier pulling others down and bent upon proving our own worth and correctness.
Each of us has a responsibility to attain maturity and self-awareness as we grow up. Some mature early in life; others never mature, even as they age. Yes, maturity is not a natural consequence of growing up. Age cannot guarantee maturity. What can ensure that you achieve a mature outlook to life is – a willingness to learn from your experiences, having the flexibility to change and adapt, and the large-heartedness to respect the differences and viewpoints of others.
Maturity can be learned rather than acquired. It is a discipline rather than a trait. It is a sign of intelligence when you learn to respond to your environment in a mature and responsible manner. A mature person knows when to stop arguing. She understands that trying to win arguments with those you love is self-defeating. She respects others’ points of view but goes by her own considered ones. She knows that the journey is to be enjoyed and lived, while the destination is just another place to reach, rest awhile and then move on.
She does not indulge in comparisons and is at peace with herself.
A mature person will take responsibility for his own actions rather than blame others. He will take a far-sighted view of things and act in a considered, rather than a spontaneous manner. He understands that he is not the centre of the Universe, and most people do not act to hurt, upset or take revenge on him; they have their own considerations and triggers. He is non-judegemental and learns to accept people as they are and brings change only within himself.
I read a beautiful line – “Emotional maturity means being centered in yourself instead of being self-centered.” The author Katies Hoban, a data scientist, speaks of three Rs – Responsibility, Responsiveness and Resilience. So, drawing from the power and resources within yourself, maturity is the art of being responsible for your actions, being sensitive and considerate towards others and having the ability to change and adapt to circumstances.
An emotionally mature person is always adding value to himself and those around. Learning and developmental activities form a key part of his daily activities and goals. He is able to understand and manage his own emotions. He maintains a calm exterior and understands that vision, planning and empathy are critical tools of a life well lived. You are emotionally mature when you take the responsibility for your own happiness; when you plan your own goals and define your own success, when you develop great coping skills, and adopt a tolerant, empathic view of others. Without being delusional you are optimistic in a realistic manner and take charge of your own life!
Here are a few interesting definitions of maturity from here and there –
“Maturity is not when we start speaking big things; it is when we start understanding small things.”
“I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… now I look around and wonder if I like them.”
“Maturity comes when you stop making excuses, and start making changes.”
“Maturity is the capacity to endure uncertainty.”
“Maturity begins when we are content to feel we’re right about something, without feeling the necessity to prove someone else is wrong.”
-ToI
