A 17 year old Anushka Noor Amin of a private school was brought dead to a private hospital recently and found evidence of rape on the victim’s body after autopsy. Anushka’s supposed boyfriend Fardin Iftekhar Dihan has been alleged to have raped and killed her at his family’s flat in Kalabagan. Victim’s father filed a case against Dihan on accusing him of sexually assaulting and then murdering her. Many concluded this event that the family tie and proper education is solely responsible behind such rape and killing.
In today’s world, we need to realize the importance of family tie and right education is more than ever. Once the relationships we have with our members make our family strong. We all have unique relations with each family member. In addition to other things, a family is the strongest unit in one’s life and moral education.
No other agency can replace its functions entirely. At home, children get an initiation into living together in family. Parents are the first teachers of a child. They ensure a secure environment for children who learn their roles and try to do various tasks according to their age and ability. They get personal and emotional space to express themselves without any inhibitions. Home is where children are educated in values, in human relationships and in social skills. This makes home the most vital place to impart family life education.
Parents remain the children’s first and primary educators. It is in their family that children have their first learning experiences, explore and discover the world, and develop. A young children needs to be supported by his or her family. It is there that the first learning experiences occur, and where social rules are acquired. Very soon, language is learned, the body is controlled, relationships develop and the child becomes an integrated member of the community.
Generally, we have to learn how to make and sustain relationships with near and dear ones. These skills are started and strengthened with the family. Additionally, giving your child the tools for interpersonal development before they learn the skills of technology is vital. These skills can ultimately help your child avoid some of the common effects of technology on children.
Personality is a product of heredity and environment, both of which depend on the family tie and right education to sustain in future life. Home is the primary environment, which has formative influence on the development of a child’s personality. The child develops integrated personality, learns self-control, acquires confidence, and learns skills to handle situations and relationships by observing the family members. If parents ensure family reunions with other relatives of the extended family, share sorrow and joys with each other, then it also helps the child realise the importance of relationship and bonds.
Moreover, the trust and attachment that parents share strengthen the belief of children that relationships can last irrespective of problems at times. On the other hand, family disharmony can have negative impact on children. In the extreme case of broken homes and disintegrated families children show personality disorders, adjustment problems, and inability to handle relationships. Children who see domestic violence and disharmony among parents are prone to repeat these in their own adult lives. In this way, family provides continuous learning to children.
There is no doubt that parents have the primary role in educating their children about family life. But they have to meet with certain challenges in fulfilling this goal and dream. These barriers are often to their own making. Hence, they can overcome these by self-reflection and analysis. Sometimes parents are over-protective of their children to the extent of impeding their spirit of exploration. They do not let the child learn the practical skills of life. On the other extreme are parents who have unrealistic expectations from their children that hamper their self- worth. If the child is not able to meet their demands, they grow doubtful about his/her potential.
Excessive engagement of parents in professional work leaves the child lonely who has no opportunity to learn in company of adults. The child has no one who would listen of his/her daily happenings and events and help in areas where the child needs support. The child may feel rejected, develop hostile nature and may grow detached from family life. Some ‘strict’ parents are too rigid to allow their children any flexibility to do what they like.
It creates fear in the child’s mind, which gradually becomes meek and submissive. On the other hand, if parents allow too many comforts and luxuries, or become over protective the child may not learn to become responsible or take decisions independently. The child also has a mind and will. Opportunities should be provided to him for the exercise of independent thinking and freedom of action. His/her likes and dislikes should be duly taken care of. He/she should be allowed to participate in family matters.
Families are very important components of society and people’s lives. They teach us a lot about life and relationships. They love us and treat us valuably. They boost our self-confidence and make us feel valued. In addition, they teach us patience to deal with others in a graceful and accepting manner.
(Mr. Zillur Rahaman is banker and freelance contributor. Email: [email protected])
