Dr. Matiur Rahman:
Extra-marital relationship is usually defined as a sexual relationship between persons who are not legally bonded as husband or wife. There may have several reasons behind such relationship. When things are going well within marriage in a family; in case of extra-marital relationship, shock is quite common since something obviously remain wrong in somewhere.
In today’s digital age, with the availability of phone calls and internet facilities, a man or a woman is easily involved in heinous activities like extramarital affairs. Husband or wife will have an illicit relationship with someone else, dating, chatting, whispering on the phone all day, will be convergent, a person with a healthy conscience cannot accept this situation. As the society loses its discipline due to this action, so does the family bond. All social norms are broken-down. From the viewpoint of our religion; it is not permissible and extremely abominable. Because its consequences are terrible such as an extra-marital relationship ultimately leads to divorce. According to the data of two City Corporation of Dhaka, in the four months from January to April this year, 4,565 divorce applications were received, meaning 1,141 per month. Last year this number was 1,042 per month. As a result, the number of divorces has increased by 99 per month this year.
But what are the reasons that lead a man or woman to engage an extramarital relationship? Sociologists and psychologists identified some causes of extramarital relationship. Early marriage, married by accident, pressures from family and society to marry someone by against will, marriage without going to know their life partner, inability to deal with changes, becoming parent, physical dissatisfaction, disagreement on core values, absence of sharing common values, difficulties in personal finances (jobless, excess debts and liabilities), just for fun, for a change or for a new excitement, career advancement, etc. are the catalyst for an extramarital affair.
Sociologists think that the economic crises, as well as family quarrels caused by the psychological and social stress, are the reasons for the increase in divorce. Apart from this, extra-marital relationship is also a major reason for divorce. The trend of separation has increased not only in Dhaka but in the whole country.
Due to the extra-marital relationship individual life, family life and society are facing a haphazard situation. The golden family bondage is in the face of a terrible catastrophe. From the lower class to the middle class and from the middle class to the upper class families, this affliction has appeared as a terrible disorder everywhere.
Diversified negative impacts aroused from extramarital affair collapse the foundation of mutual trust and faith in terms of social, family and personal relationship. On the contrary, a child being a victim of impacts of parents’ extramarital affair related breakup may be driven by acute psychological disorder if not properly taken care of them.
The extra-marital relationship has a catastrophic impact on individual life to the broader level of society and social relationships. Extreme outcome of an extramarital affair can be the suicidal attempt of the deceived partner, which can never be taken as a usual incidence. An extramarital affair not only negatively impacts moral and psychological development but also has the chances of developing sexually transmitted diseases.
Many people are silently enduring this forbidden love affair of husband and wife thinking about the future of the society, people and children. Again, many people are getting divorced as they cannot bear the upshot of an extra-marital affair. Sometimes, murder and suicide are also increasing in the society for this catastrophe.
Because of extramarital affairs, long married life, beautiful children, beautiful family, memories of a once sweet relationship are all being pushed away and events like divorce are happening. Only the number of divorce applications filed to the Dhaka City Corporation has severely shaken the social ties.
To evacuate this social epidemic, raising awareness among every member of the society is very important starting from the adolescent age group to establish a concrete understanding at the very early life regarding the widespread future threats of the extramarital affair.
Thus, to eliminate this extra-marital relationship proper counselling for spouse is needed to introduce before and after marriage. Psychologists and counsellors can design and organise mass media based awareness raising programmes on various factors responsible for extramarital affairs. Beside religious education, proper education about it has to be incorporated in the general education curriculum. Mass media can play a vital role by broadcasting awareness programmes. Government organisation, NGOs can also play an important role in this regard.
(Dr. Matiur Rahman is Research Consultant, Human Development
Research Centre, Dhaka)
