Rifat Zafreen :
Zareef is only 10 but these days he hardly wants to go to school. While forced he vomits and shows deep repulsion for school. His grades are getting down day by day. His parents are very worried that makes them angry at Zareef. They rebuke him for his poor performance and unwilling ness for school. Zareef looks very upset and low these days. But he doesn’t share even after asking him several times.
This may happen to any of the parents who have children of Zareef’s age. They may find their children sitting in a corner with faint light on and may get them sad while enter into their children’s room. Many parents these days suffer from such situation. Some may be lucky enough to hear the reason from their children, while others face the misery of seeing their children sink into depression when they can not express what is killing their self-esteem. Bullying is the killer and bullying in school is a common phenomenon now a days, and it must be something that demands discussions.
Bullying can happen in various ways, the most innocent form being name calling or twisting of name and calling something similar to it. This can go from verbal to emotional to physical with words turning into acts of physical torture.
It is often seen among the children who see violence at home, especially among their parents, tend to vent out their frustrations when they come to school. Being abused at home also gives them exposure that they have a right to assault others or dominate other. Some have ego centric issues, which are mainly derived from being an uncontrollably pampered child. Most of the experts agree that children who are prone to bullying have some unresolved low self-esteem issues.
When our children come under an educational institution where they are to share attention with hundreds of others, at that time children opt for bullying to sustain their dominant position. Video gems and TV shows may also play a key role behind their aggressive behavior.
Bullying has numerous effects, out of those the long term ones include depression, anxiety, insecurity, suicidal tendency, loss of self-esteem and trust issues. Even bullies face the risk of developing antisocial personality disorder.
Few steps need to be taken if one is being bullied. Firstly, it has to remember that prevention is always the best method. Bullies need to be avoided. A bully spends all his times thinking of ways to put others down and thus they are usually skilled and should not be challenged in their own game. Killing them with kindness is a better solution.
Secondly one must always try to walk away instead of getting physically involved and if fists are to be thrown, always can be done in case of self defense and not in the case to be the first one to start.
Class teachers have a vital role in the lives of children at school. Early in the morning teachers should advise the children to spend 5-10 minutes in an orientation to guide them and show them how important it is to live in harmony and to be kind and gentle to friends and others. A lesson on ethics and morality the teachers must teach the children focusing the significance of good behavior and truthfulness. The teacher must also be accessible and discuss and deal with issues of bullying when they come up.
Upon identifying a bully of a victim, a counselor can be of much use and not only help the child but also guides his family to be supportive and to fix shortcomings from their side though counselors are still not seen widely. Finally it has to be remembered that bullies thrive off the fear they generate, so they do what must be done but show no fear. Animal instincts mean they pounce on the weak. So children have to be thought not to be weak. They taught to be nice, modest, gentle and sympathetic to others and especially to friends.
Along with teachers, opinion leaders, print, electronic and social media and mostly parents have a very big and vital role to play in stopping bullying. Moral teachings socially and at home is the responsibility of all of us in killing the animal instincts in our children and in letting them be true human beings and ideal children for parents and for the society and thus for all. We have to teach our children to be enlightened and savior of the world and mankind. We can no way spare our responsibility in keeping our children safe, secure and sound both physically and mentally. We all are the keepers of children’s psyche healthy and beautiful directly and indirectly.
