Gazi Shariful Hasan :
One of my close friends recently told me about his cousin’s tragic story, which ended a heartbreaking death of a young soul. She was killed by her husband’s family members after six months of her marriage. But some people of the society think that it was the fate of that young girl. My friend told me that his cousin got married at an early age against her consent. The parents of the groom’s family were not fully satisfied with the gifts which has called dowry by the society. Lastly those small amount of gifts brought sufferings for her to death. This is just only a simple and symbolic example of our country how the dowry system makes women’s life miserable after marriage. Every year we read stories in newspaper, journals about the victims of dowry.
No one can think to see his/her lovely daughter’s dead body in front of his/her eyes. Have any girl ever had in her mind that she could be a victim of dowry? There are so many questions that rise in our mind when we see the shocking picture of dowry in our society. Firstly do we know what is dowry? As a definition, it could be said that dowry means gifts or payment by a bride’s family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage. At the time of marriage, the parents of a daughter have a desire to get a gentle and polite son-in-law. Due to their wrong concept, they think that after marriage their daughter will have a better life. Are their expectations come in true? In some cases it is yes, but most of the time many girls become the victims of dowry according to last decade data, information, news etc.
Dowry has a long history in Europe, Africa, South Asia and other parts of the world. In South Asia, it is an age-old tradition especially in Hindu community as their inheritances are being left only to sons. So, the bride used to take goods, wealth with her to the groom’s household when she gets married and gives away the control over her property to the husband and in-laws. It in disguise was originally started as “love” gifts after the marriages of upper caste Hindus, but during the medieval period the demand for dowries became a precursor for marriage. It sometimes considered as a form of protection for the bride against the possibility of ill treatment by her husband and in-laws.
Inspired by the contemptible practice, the “pawn” (bride price) custom in Muslim community of Bangladesh has turned upside-down since the twentieth century. This social evil since then has become a widespread custom as a painful burden for the bride and her family but a welcome lure for the groom and his family. Pervaded by strange fears, the unable parents are obliged to confine their marriageable daughter in the house. Furthermore, if the daughter remains unmarried, she is considered a spinster, who brings shame upon her family and she is considered a burden. Pressure from all corners makes the hapless parents puzzled to force them to accept a dowry proposal. The expensive nature of dowries endures long-term financial hardships to many brides’ families. In many cases, the debt-trapped families despair of economic regain. Girls occasionally commit suicide in order to rid their parents of financial burdens. Eventually, the emotional boundary and love flee through the back door to destiny.
In present modern and developed world, every society is becoming more and more consumerist. It entails a new dimension to demanding dowry. New apartment, latest model vehicle, “seed money” to start individual enterprise, air-cooler, 42? LCD TV etc. are in the dowry-list of the growing middle class. When the dowry amount is not considered sufficient or is not forthcoming the bride is often harassed, abused and made miserable by her husband or by in-laws. The abuse can escalate to kill her that usually considered as “dowry death”. Furthermore, dowry remains a huge motivating factor for other crimes such as women trafficking, prostitution, stalking and most of all human dignity.
In combating the menace of demanding and paying dowry, the government enacted the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1980. It aptly decrees to give, take or demand a dowry is an offence punishable by imprisonment up to 5 years and fines. Under the law, a dowry is defined as any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly by one party to a marriage to the other party to the marriage or by the parents of either party to a marriage or by any other person to either party to the marriage or to any other person at or before or after the marriage as consideration for the marriage of the said parties. However, women activists described the law as “ornamental” and pointed out that it has been imposed on selective offenders. The government then took measures ensuring strict implementation of the law to all perpetrators of the crime. Meanwhile, some welfare organizations have come up to help persecuted brides and their families to prosecute their husbands and in-laws. But there were also a number of odd instances that brides and their families had filed false cases under the law with “malafide” intentions. It somehow interrupted the implementation of anti-dowry measures. However, the government has involved Imams of the mosques and madrasha teachers in preaching sermons against social crimes including dowry. Local committees have been formed at the union and upazila level to removing onerous stumbling blocks ensuring smooth implementation of the anti-dowry law. The women and children repression prevention cells have been strengthened to oversee dowry-related incidences. The victims have been providing legal and other supports to prosecute dowry cases. Police and Ansar-VDP personnel are trained to fight against dowry. The Child Marriage Restraint Act of 1929 has recently been put in to practice. The Women and Children Repression Prevention Act of 2000 and Family Violence (prevention and protection) Act of 2010 are being sincerely implemented. The implementation of the laws also helps reduce dowry-related crimes. As a result, “dowry deaths” have been reducing. But dowry extortion and abuses related to dowries are still there.
A social movement is needed to change the greedy attitude of grooms and their families as well as the very mindset of the society. People should be motivated to tune in to the movement with a view to establish a dowry-free society. Bangladesh is now a role-model for other countries of the world in women development. Women are moving forward in all spheres of life including education and empowering themselves. It would help realize the goal of the movement. We should achieve it by meaningfully saying no to dowry.
This dowry as a system has affected our whole society. We all should be dead against this evil system of the society. This malady should be wiped out from the society presently. This social curse can be eradicated by changing the outlook and attitude of the people specially the male member of the society and by bringing the persons under force who take dowry.
(PID-UNICEF Feature)
