Life Desk :
Before asking, embrace the no. This will empower you to ask with fearlessness. Asking is a practiced art. Embrace it.
The act of asking makes us vulnerable, even paralyses us, mostly because of the fear of rejection that comes with it – the fear of appearing as weak. We are made to believe strong, successful people don’t need to ask for anything. But as novelist Nora Roberts says, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”
Don’t let shyness stop you
People also shy away from asking for help. Amanda Palmer in her book, The Art of Asking, talks about how we constantly ask questions like: Will you help me? Can I trust you? But somehow, we shy away from asking about what we really want. The trick is not to be attached to the answer – negative or positive. Be zen-like. Remember that almost every important human encounter boils down to the act, and art, of asking.
Be Fearless
Before asking, embrace the no. This will empower you to ask with fearlessness. Asking is a practiced art. Embrace it. Overcoming fear of asking lies in the connection you make. The closer your connection, the less fearful you will be of asking.
Even if the first time was uncomfortable, ask again. Research at Stanford University shows that people are more likely to say ‘yes’ the second time.
Daniel Newark, the lead researcher of the study, says, “Having already said ‘no’ once, it can be more guilt-inducing and uncomfortable to repeat it.” The smart ones also know when not to push the envelope and not ask twice. Know when to retreat.
Ask the right question
Frame your thoughts and words well in advance. The answer from the other end often depends on the way the question is framed. Tone is also crucial.
-TNN
Before asking, embrace the no. This will empower you to ask with fearlessness. Asking is a practiced art. Embrace it.
The act of asking makes us vulnerable, even paralyses us, mostly because of the fear of rejection that comes with it – the fear of appearing as weak. We are made to believe strong, successful people don’t need to ask for anything. But as novelist Nora Roberts says, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”
Don’t let shyness stop you
People also shy away from asking for help. Amanda Palmer in her book, The Art of Asking, talks about how we constantly ask questions like: Will you help me? Can I trust you? But somehow, we shy away from asking about what we really want. The trick is not to be attached to the answer – negative or positive. Be zen-like. Remember that almost every important human encounter boils down to the act, and art, of asking.
Be Fearless
Before asking, embrace the no. This will empower you to ask with fearlessness. Asking is a practiced art. Embrace it. Overcoming fear of asking lies in the connection you make. The closer your connection, the less fearful you will be of asking.
Even if the first time was uncomfortable, ask again. Research at Stanford University shows that people are more likely to say ‘yes’ the second time.
Daniel Newark, the lead researcher of the study, says, “Having already said ‘no’ once, it can be more guilt-inducing and uncomfortable to repeat it.” The smart ones also know when not to push the envelope and not ask twice. Know when to retreat.
Ask the right question
Frame your thoughts and words well in advance. The answer from the other end often depends on the way the question is framed. Tone is also crucial.
-TNN
