P. G. Bhaskar :
I have always been behind the technology curve. I would love to be one of those ‘go to’ people whenever someone needs clarifications on cutting edge tech, but sadly, it is not to be. I’m the one who goes. I share a wary relationship with most man-made devices, but it is especially so with those which involve Silicon Valley. When my office first placed a monster of a personal computer on my desk decades ago, I froze. I stared at it long and hard waiting for some kind of explosion. That never happened, even after waiting for weeks, so gathering my nerves, I summoned up courage to tap a tentative key or two with my index finger.
I had hardly learnt to send my first email when suddenly, my first cell phone arrived, courtesy my office. It was big, black and bulky; too small to require a briefcase to hold it and too big and heavy to fit into any pocket. If one dropped it accidentally on one’s foot, it could have caused serious damage to all five toes.
I fixed a very suspicious eye on it. Who knew what dark secrets it hid? Some days later, when I discovered that it didn’t have any teeth and seemed reasonably docile, I ventured to charge it. For a day or two, it remained on my desk and then it went into a drawer where it remained for the next two years. At which point, my office foisted a new cell phone on me, ignoring my strong protest. I felt we were spending far too much money on upgrading technology, when we could have been using it on far more important and useful things, such as a modest salary hike. I used this phone sparingly, but when the third cell phone came my way some three years later, I reconciled myself to it, using the phone almost every day.
But I was still way behind. My friends were already into phones with cameras and music and stuff. Some clients of mine in certain countries used multiple phones. They would match calls with the telecom provider in order to reduce cost. One client with whom I had lunch with in Dubai took out four phones from his pockets and laid them out on the table. Seeing me blink, he proceeded to explain. ‘This is for incoming business calls only’ he said, pointing, ‘and this is for outgoing. This is for family and this…’ (and here, he winked at me) ‘..is for personal calls.’ I was dumbfounded. I marveled at the man’s intricate thought processes but was also extremely annoyed with myself. Why was my brain so much behind the times?
More recently, I was meeting this VIP client for the first time. I was expected to impress him and secure more business from him. We were seated in this wood-panelled room. He gave me his card, I gave him mine. I readied myself to making some sparkling conversation. Or at least, some conversation. But before I could start, the client dived under the table. And for a few seconds, remained there. Just as I was about to tuck my head down there to see what he was up to, he re-surfaced holding a bag. He unzipped his bag and pulled out a thingummy, a phone of some sort. He fiddled with it, pressed some buttons, looked at me and pressed more buttons.
I started to talk but he stuck his palm out. I remained quiet. He stared at the instrument. Then looking pleased, he put it back in the bag and offered me his card. ‘Oh, you already gave me your card’ I told him. ‘This isn’t my card’ he told me, ‘It is yours.’
He smiled smugly. ‘I often misplace cards. So now I always take a picture of the people I meet and their cards. Once I add that to my smart phone, I’m fine.’ I groaned silently as I pocketed my card. Why can’t people just be ‘normal’? Or is this the new normal?
(P. G. Bhaskar’s ‘So who says I’m middle-aged?’ a collection of some of his Khaleej Times articles are available on Indian online sites flipkart, infibeam and dogearsetc.com)
