Wares Ali Khan :
Life is unpredictable and full of surprises that none can unfold the total mystery of life for sure. A conjugal life runs in a combination of hope and aspiration through a legal contract named marriage where two different entities dream to live sharing a lot of things mutually. In terms of Islamic Shari’a, the provision of divorce has been practiced to protect conjugal life from the ultimate disaster. When there is an extreme conflict between the couple, and it becomes impossible to lead a life peacefully and mend the couple’s life, at the time the mutual relationship gets bitter, turns toxic and one’s mind is distracted from the other – only then as the final approach ‘divorce’ is permitted as the last resort.
The domain of women’s empowerment and their role has noticeably shifted in society. The opportunity for self-control along with independent decision-making power is an increasing trend in various settings. For the reason mentioned above, it is anticipated that women in Bangladeshi society have been seen two steps more self-motivated by daring to attack the old patriarchal family values. The impact of globalization, at one stage, might increase marital complications in Bangladesh. Perhaps, people sometimes tend to compete in their living domains and unwilling to compromise in the aspects of life. Sometimes, we people, transfigure ourselves too much calculative regarding self-sided interest to ensure our share and unwilling to show compassion and care to others.
Married life is a mutual journey where two human entities are to cooperate, associate, dream, and aspire to continue their lifelong journey based on mutual respect, love, and care-oriented interventions. It is all about dealing with a win-win situation and keeping balance by maintaining permutation and combination. In truth, conjugal life is not a game where an absolute winner and ultimate loser will be destined in the end.
Divorce in the country has increased at an alarming rate in the year 2020 and 2021. Husband-wife separation has increased in both urban and rural settings simultaneously. However, the rate of divorce is higher in cities in comparison to villages. Divorce-experiencing people have significantly worse physical and mental soundness than other people of the same status who have not been dealing with a separate life. And the deterioration happens suddenly right after the incident. Emotional storms like divorce can lead to more serious health hazards such as- gradual weakness of the immune system, reduction of smooth-heart functionality, severe deterioration of sleep cycle, chronic mental discomfort, acute agony, and profound depression.
It is indeed a great shock for the kids as parental separation affects their lives, mentality, and routine survival very worst. These include changes in diet, sleep, social interaction, mutual conduct, prevailing belief, feelings, gross lifestyle, the concept of trust, and so forth. In this unwanted familial concern, children may feel intensely depressed, deeply anxious, severely shocked, and saddened. There are also risks related to the emotional health of the child. Sometimes the child suffers from prolonged depression, acute agony, emotional turbulence, intense anger, deepened frustration, inactivity, and chronic lethargy. In an integral sense Marital separation creates a lasting impact on children and adolescents in their growth that often turn tremendously disastrous.
In the East, family construction is treated in the eyes of religious ideals and social values. The fact that family is a social institution and the breakdown or disruption of social institutions is usually an unwelcome practice where too many people think that divorce is a complex phenomenon. This societal prevailing sentiment creates a devastating fear. And this is what happens when the topic of divorce is considered a non-discussable taboo as there is a public shame, fear, hesitation, and fear of being disgraced in the eyes of children and relatives, and society.
Children remain under additional stress when their parents are separated. Many are bullied at school and become victims of harsh comments from neighbors and relatives. This discriminatory and repulsive social attitude needs to change.Without denying this reality, one should think about how to solve the problems that arise due to divorce. Family and child welfare programs need to be made an integral part of national development plans instead of worrying that divorce is gradually getting an ominous trait.
It must be the substantial concern of the parents not to involve the children in bitterness after separation. Children need to be reassured that both father and mother will love them unconditionally even if they are in separation for a long. The child should also be advised that even if the relationship between parents changes over time after separation, he/she can still love both of them. In turn, relatives, neighbors, and colleagues need to be sensitive, sportive, and empathetic to people going through a divorce and careful for their children. By the way, educators will ensure that no student is discriminated against due to parents’ divorce in any learning seat.
(Mr. Khan is an academic & psycho-social counselor).
