Life Desk :
I am a little disturbed. Mind bogglingly restless and asking questions on humanity, justice and where as a society are we headed? To understand my discomfiture I’d start with the month of March when an acquaintance decided to “allegedly end her life” owing to an abusive marriage. Her black eyed, lip cut pictures splashed across my Facebook news feed stirring my conscience from its comfort. Then came another incident a month later – this time closer to home. It was Anchal, the girl I had shared a flat/PG during college years. We were four of us who by the end of college parted ways with sweet memories of the times gone by.
A fighter, head strong, independent girl among the four made it to the headlines for taking a drastic step- “committed suicide.” This news came three months after her wedding in March. I remember one night in April, scrolling down her Facebook wall looking at the pictures from her honeymoon in Thailand. Everything seemed normal. Happy. She was married to her five year long boyfriend and had found her companion in him. Did I imagine her dead in few months out of suicide or murder for dowry? No. Had not even imagined it.
Her death for me initially was just another crime story I read in the paper I used to work for. If I had been a reporter even now I might have also been the one filing not realizing who it was. The difference this time was I knew the person who was making headlines.
I remember my time as a reporter. In a rush to fulfill deadlines I’d shout across the newsroom, “murder copy done and sent,” or “robbery done.” The crime varied in some cases more heinous than one can imagine, but the apathy remained. For me it was just another news story, a mere statistics, whereas for someone else it was a life crushing event. It is strange how our sense of justice and ethics function. For someone whose life is least affected by it is least concerned. It does not irk their conscience. But turn the tables and it becomes a fight for justice.
Isn’t empathy universal? How do we as humans switch buttons so fast? It is a major problem if it affects me or else I am a logical human who has a mind to rationalize and question the victim concerned till he/she is pushed to a dark dingy corner.
When I shared Anchal’s story with people I knew they would question, how could she? Did she not know? Did she talk to you about it? Why did she not walk out. I felt offended and then I realized I have asked these questions and been insensitive. I feel guilty for those times. I was shocked at my own apathy and questioned myself. I find myself among the many apathisers that exist and Anchal, Nirbhaya, Priyanka and the woman in Kerela and those innumerable cases as exceptions to how we have failed them as friends, colleagues, parents, spouses and a society. Thus expecting a cop or a judge and their reaction is the last thing on my mind. For me they are people who are not even remotely affected by such incidents. On the contrary they are numb to it for having to deal with these each day.
The question here is not about one man, or woman or child or animal it is about respect for life. And sadly the cost of life in my country is very cheap.
It is a question about as civilized people have we become more barbaric in thought. Are love, companionship, compassion and “sanskar” just a matter of convenience? If that is the case who made us the judge of right and wrong when our own demons are bigger than us.
Today feminism, chauvinism, idealism, liberalism and all the other adjectives we use to define ideology mean zilch. They are words with no meaning, There is just one word for all of us – Convenienc-ism.
—TNN
I am a little disturbed. Mind bogglingly restless and asking questions on humanity, justice and where as a society are we headed? To understand my discomfiture I’d start with the month of March when an acquaintance decided to “allegedly end her life” owing to an abusive marriage. Her black eyed, lip cut pictures splashed across my Facebook news feed stirring my conscience from its comfort. Then came another incident a month later – this time closer to home. It was Anchal, the girl I had shared a flat/PG during college years. We were four of us who by the end of college parted ways with sweet memories of the times gone by.
A fighter, head strong, independent girl among the four made it to the headlines for taking a drastic step- “committed suicide.” This news came three months after her wedding in March. I remember one night in April, scrolling down her Facebook wall looking at the pictures from her honeymoon in Thailand. Everything seemed normal. Happy. She was married to her five year long boyfriend and had found her companion in him. Did I imagine her dead in few months out of suicide or murder for dowry? No. Had not even imagined it.
Her death for me initially was just another crime story I read in the paper I used to work for. If I had been a reporter even now I might have also been the one filing not realizing who it was. The difference this time was I knew the person who was making headlines.
I remember my time as a reporter. In a rush to fulfill deadlines I’d shout across the newsroom, “murder copy done and sent,” or “robbery done.” The crime varied in some cases more heinous than one can imagine, but the apathy remained. For me it was just another news story, a mere statistics, whereas for someone else it was a life crushing event. It is strange how our sense of justice and ethics function. For someone whose life is least affected by it is least concerned. It does not irk their conscience. But turn the tables and it becomes a fight for justice.
Isn’t empathy universal? How do we as humans switch buttons so fast? It is a major problem if it affects me or else I am a logical human who has a mind to rationalize and question the victim concerned till he/she is pushed to a dark dingy corner.
When I shared Anchal’s story with people I knew they would question, how could she? Did she not know? Did she talk to you about it? Why did she not walk out. I felt offended and then I realized I have asked these questions and been insensitive. I feel guilty for those times. I was shocked at my own apathy and questioned myself. I find myself among the many apathisers that exist and Anchal, Nirbhaya, Priyanka and the woman in Kerela and those innumerable cases as exceptions to how we have failed them as friends, colleagues, parents, spouses and a society. Thus expecting a cop or a judge and their reaction is the last thing on my mind. For me they are people who are not even remotely affected by such incidents. On the contrary they are numb to it for having to deal with these each day.
The question here is not about one man, or woman or child or animal it is about respect for life. And sadly the cost of life in my country is very cheap.
It is a question about as civilized people have we become more barbaric in thought. Are love, companionship, compassion and “sanskar” just a matter of convenience? If that is the case who made us the judge of right and wrong when our own demons are bigger than us.
Today feminism, chauvinism, idealism, liberalism and all the other adjectives we use to define ideology mean zilch. They are words with no meaning, There is just one word for all of us – Convenienc-ism.
—TNN
