Md Harun :
The present writing is about childhood and study-a comparison between the present and the past scenarios, between those who had to be guided from their infancy and those who grew up carefree
at least up to their youth.
In past, there was usually a wave for the children to go here and there, mix with friends at their own will, and read only if their mind wanted, played regularly and did not have to bother so much about their studies (as the present days’ children are supposed to do!)- in a word, children in past did not have to run for the
competition that the children of present days have to do. Now a days there prevails a wave of general competition among the individuals, societies, and nations-
everywhere is must exist!
Among all these types of competitions, what I think to be of very piteous
condition is the competition among the parents of small kids to make their kids’ result the best one that they themselves probably failed to do and now making their dream come true through their kids. These advanced (?) parents are putting their sweet babies to the gate of
hell themselves.
One day I heard about the daily routine of a student of class five and I like to
mention the routine of that girl and then go for some other points.
The child has to get up from her bed at around 6:00am/6:30am. Then she has
to complete her freshening and
breakfast within the next 30 minutes. After this she sits for studying and
continues to do so up to 10:00am. Then she has to bathe and start for her school, which is quite away from her home, and it takes 2/2:30 hours to reach her school because of the distance and traffic congestions. Why then still this school chosen? The cause is it is considered to be one of the famous schools of Dhaka city. The school begins at 1:00pm. If any day she reaches earlier she has to study there instead of playing, as this is her mother’s command. The school breaks at 5:00pm and she comes back to her home at around 7:00pm/7:30pm. The remains tired and take rest for half an hour after taking slight refreshment.
At 8:30pm, she has to attend a house tutor and again at 9:30pm starts with another that continues till 10:30pm. With this she stops study. And the next
day begins the same way!
Now after giving this account of the class five girl, I would like to put forward some of my observations-
1. Students / children who are forced so much to study by their parents sacrificing their play time to win over the competition of getting good marks in the examination usually do grow frustration among them and they become de-motivated to study seriously at higher levels and many go astray as soon as they go out of their parental control. On the other hands,
students/children who were otherwise
nurtured in the lap of nature do start their serious study at higher levels that is very important for them and they come out successful. I know about some of my friends who were under too much parental control of their parents up to intermediate level of their education. The result is many of them did not dare to sit for admission tests at any public university. They managed to study at private university by dint of the money that their
parents spend for educating them!
2. Every individual is born with some inherent strengths and weaknesses. All do not shine in all fields and all cannot be better students also. Moreover, all cannot continue hard studies throughout their life! So it is better for the parents to let their children grow spontaneously and learn the love for study naturally.
Additionally, there is apparent limit to human stamina. If the majority portion of the kids’ stamina is usurped before their youth then how they will be able to yolk the responsibility of their own life and work for others? They cannot put proportionate stamina in their future life, and this is more important for any persons concerned. It is contrary to human nature. I have also seen that many of my acquaintances coming from good schools and colleges of Dhaka city have failed to compete and win over some students coming from rural schools who definitely did not have to study so much as their urbane friends did. And the friends coming from rural areas invested their most of the infancy
in playing and reading whenever their mind wanted. It obviously proves that studying all the time and no play make Jack a dull boy.
3. Dear readers, look at the successful people around you and study their
childhood history! You find that the most successful entrepreneurs, business personalities, makers of civilisations, national and international leaders-all
were not under too rigid parental
control as described earlier. Yet they have contributed a lot to the advancement and progress and prosperity of their own lives and nations. For example, the Hindi cinemas Three Idiots and Tare Jamin Par are the glaring examples of this issue.
4. According to Farah Deeba, Asistant Professor of Clinical Psychology of Dhaka University, “Most of our parents want to make their children as the ‘Model of an IDEAL person’…We try to do make our expectations come true from our children through strongly imposed disciplines and putting many restrictions.” As a result, “the child would loss (lose) confidence to become explorative, creative, curious, lack in patience to be persevering; find
difficulties to take initiatives to solve problems, make decisions, cope with stress, communicate with others etc. In the long run the child will not only be unable to take responsibility independently but also become pessimistic, complaining, suspicious and ruthless to others.”
So, finally I like to request the so-called advanced parents that do not put your beloved kids under so much pressure. It destroys their beautiful mind and pollutes their thought of the world. The race of competition that you could not win over, your children should not be forced to win that. Let them do whatever good they do themselves and enjoy lives. If you make the infantile mind poisonous then the responsibility for their frustration and despondency and growing anti-social and corrupt mentality in future, will be no
one else’s but yours.
