Home is where the heart is

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Life Desk :
He wants minimalism. She wants luxe’ glam. He wants parties, she wants a quiet home. And never the twain shall meet. Newsflash: the fate of your relationship can rest on your home decor. According to a study by Lindsay Graham, a psychology graduate student in the College of Liberal Arts, a couple’s house reveals a surprising amount of information about the state of their relationship. In her study she says: “Home environments are very important to people, meeting both their practical and psychological needs. One common challenge that many new couples face is deciding how to integrate their individual possessions and preferences into a shared space where they can both feel at home.”
Get some love in
Home is where a couple meets their psychological, emotional and physical needs – a place where they make love and go to war. Coffee-tables, kitchen corners, lounge sofas become more than decor items and transform into relationship builders. Relationship expert Nisha Khanna says, “How you do up your space as a couple is also an important milestone of your relationship.
The biggest tip for creating love in the bedroom is to leave your smartphone out of the bedroom.”
According to Professor Jay Lebow, marital therapist and researcher at Northwestern University in Chicago, things like fighting over lamps and rugs can make one person feel less adequate. Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos says, “A couple’s home becomes a place of shared identity. We’re no longer decorating and living for just ourselves, me is now we and this is reflected in the way we live.”
Sharing spaces
From the time you move in, there are practical concerns like sharing cupboards and negotiating wardrobe space. Then there’s the stuff like deciding where the art print goes. Papadopoulos says, “Each decision is evidence of what you share, how you compromise and what you hope to build together.”
Interior designer-turned-sexologist Dawn Michael suggests turning the lights down, playing some soothing music, and painting your room deep and dark. Why? “Love is a mood. You can change your mood with decorating it right. Use sexy products or design material, have dim lights and candles, create an ambience for closeness,” she explains. Her advice: Keep the kids’ room separate from yours.
Love nest 101
· Get a coffee table. Let this be the space where you cosy up with your cuppa.
· Dim the lights. Install dimmer lights – it sets the mood for love.
· Get rid of clutter. Clutter distracts partners from dealing with real relationship issues.
· Think neutral colours. Colour on walls should be neutral as it makes you more romantic.
· Get a red couch. And get on it for some couple couch therapy.

-TNN

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