Life Desk :If your partner is trying to control your life then it’s time to set some ground rules.Latina pop diva Shakira’s lips don’t lie. Barely days after her footballer boyfriend Gerard Pique prevented her from recording music videos with goodlooking men, she’s returned the favour and asked him not to shoot ad campaigns/videos with sexy female models. Shakira admitted to a website that her relationship with Pique is “asphyxiating”. In common parlance that means, “smothering”. While she rises to his defence and says, “It’s good when you’re man’s protective of you.He’s a defender. He defends the goal. That is his job, so he knows how to do that well.’ – the billion dollar question is do you really need a partner/spouse who’s fiercely possessive? If you find yourself in an asphyxiating relationship, is there a way to come to terms with it and then handle it without breaking the bond?Have your share of friends, ideally a separate set and some common ones. Ensure that your partner/spouse understands that having a platonic friend of the opposite sex is possible.While jealousy is one of the signs of love, when one partner is jealous to the point of being insecure then that threatens your mental well-being. Talk it out. Don’t let your partner/spouse control you.Fidelity is the key word in all relationships and has to be a responsibility and a choice. A controlling partner/husband can’t guarantee fidelity. It has to come from within.Don’t take any form of emotional blackmail or physical abuse. Controlling partners/spouses are often violent and temperamental.Respect your partner/spouse and trust him/her not to cheat on you.Learn to give each other some much needed space.Set the ground rules of the relationship at the outset. In case you feel it’s really ‘smothering’ then the easiest way to deal with it is:break free and move on. No heartbreak is as difficult to cope as being in a relationship with a controlling partner. -TNN
