Catherine Ryan :
As you probably know firsthand, women — particularly mothers —
tend to be especially empathetic to those around us. It’s a wonderful trait that comes in handy when, say, your child’s feelings are hurt
or your spouse has to vent about his job. You listen, show
your concern and do your best to help cheer them up.
But that sensitivity to others can also make you more susceptible to negativity from, say, a temperamental co-worker or a stranger’s rude remark, explains Barbara Holstein, Ed.D, a psychologist
in Long Branch, N.J., and author of The Truth:
I’m a Girl, I’m Smart, and I Know Everything!
So, when someone else’s bad mood rubs off on you, it can create a
trickle-down effect of negativity. Soon, everyone from your
bank teller to your kids could catch the bad-mood bug.
While you may not always be able to control the outcome of situations, you do have a choice about how you react to it, says Dr Holstein.
Focusing on your actions is one of the best ways to fend off
a bad mood. To stay happy and pay your attitude forward in a positive way, put these tricks into practice:
1) Kill them with kindness Remember the lesson you teach your kids about saying something nice or nothing at all? It’s time to turn that
concept on its head. Instead of keeping silent the next time you encounter a sourpuss, dish out a compliment. Compliment your boss’s haircut, or acknowledge the hard work of a surly PTA mom. A kind
comment could do more to shield you from a dark cloud than zipping your lip. It may even help clear the skies for the other person too.
2) Do unto others It’s easy to sit and stew about the jerk who cut you off on the highway. A stay-happy alternative to fuming: Do what you wish he had done, advises Dr. Holstein. For example, give the next car plenty
of room to merge and a friendly wave. Research shows that doing
a good deed for others can lift your mood even more than doing
something nice for yourself, says Dr. Holstein. Then, you’ll feel
better (and feel good about yourself) for taking the high road.
3) Fake it until you make it when you’re cranky, the last thing you want to do is smile. But smiling can actually help cement a sunny outlook. When you pretend to be happy, it crowds out unpleasant thoughts
because we can only truly concentrate on one thing at a time, explains Dr Holstein. In fact, research from Paul Ekman, Ph.D, a psychologist
who studies facial expressions and the author of Revealing Emotions, shows that grinning actually activates the happiness region
of your brain and can help you perceive things in a better light.
4) Skip the morning news Your sensitivity to others isn’t limited to those around you. Simply reading the day’s depressing headlines can leave you down in the dumps. Solution: If you have a ritual of checking
the morning news, replace it with a restorative activity, such as
a stretching DVD, walking the dog or reading to your kids. You can
still keep up with current events — just wait until the afternoon, when you’re less susceptible to negative reports, recommends Dr Holstein.
5) Play in the dirt Gardening can be a terrific way to prevent and even shake off a bad mood. Studies show exercise alone helps increase feelings of happiness and well-being, plus working in the soil has also been shown to bolster positivity, says Dr Holstein. Scientists at the University
of Bristol discovered that contact with microorganisms in the soil
stimulates production of serotonin, the feel-good chemical in your brain. So, ditch the gloves and get your hands dirty!
Contd on Page 2
As you probably know firsthand, women — particularly mothers —
tend to be especially empathetic to those around us. It’s a wonderful trait that comes in handy when, say, your child’s feelings are hurt
or your spouse has to vent about his job. You listen, show
your concern and do your best to help cheer them up.
But that sensitivity to others can also make you more susceptible to negativity from, say, a temperamental co-worker or a stranger’s rude remark, explains Barbara Holstein, Ed.D, a psychologist
in Long Branch, N.J., and author of The Truth:
I’m a Girl, I’m Smart, and I Know Everything!
So, when someone else’s bad mood rubs off on you, it can create a
trickle-down effect of negativity. Soon, everyone from your
bank teller to your kids could catch the bad-mood bug.
While you may not always be able to control the outcome of situations, you do have a choice about how you react to it, says Dr Holstein.
Focusing on your actions is one of the best ways to fend off
a bad mood. To stay happy and pay your attitude forward in a positive way, put these tricks into practice:
1) Kill them with kindness Remember the lesson you teach your kids about saying something nice or nothing at all? It’s time to turn that
concept on its head. Instead of keeping silent the next time you encounter a sourpuss, dish out a compliment. Compliment your boss’s haircut, or acknowledge the hard work of a surly PTA mom. A kind
comment could do more to shield you from a dark cloud than zipping your lip. It may even help clear the skies for the other person too.
2) Do unto others It’s easy to sit and stew about the jerk who cut you off on the highway. A stay-happy alternative to fuming: Do what you wish he had done, advises Dr. Holstein. For example, give the next car plenty
of room to merge and a friendly wave. Research shows that doing
a good deed for others can lift your mood even more than doing
something nice for yourself, says Dr. Holstein. Then, you’ll feel
better (and feel good about yourself) for taking the high road.
3) Fake it until you make it when you’re cranky, the last thing you want to do is smile. But smiling can actually help cement a sunny outlook. When you pretend to be happy, it crowds out unpleasant thoughts
because we can only truly concentrate on one thing at a time, explains Dr Holstein. In fact, research from Paul Ekman, Ph.D, a psychologist
who studies facial expressions and the author of Revealing Emotions, shows that grinning actually activates the happiness region
of your brain and can help you perceive things in a better light.
4) Skip the morning news Your sensitivity to others isn’t limited to those around you. Simply reading the day’s depressing headlines can leave you down in the dumps. Solution: If you have a ritual of checking
the morning news, replace it with a restorative activity, such as
a stretching DVD, walking the dog or reading to your kids. You can
still keep up with current events — just wait until the afternoon, when you’re less susceptible to negative reports, recommends Dr Holstein.
5) Play in the dirt Gardening can be a terrific way to prevent and even shake off a bad mood. Studies show exercise alone helps increase feelings of happiness and well-being, plus working in the soil has also been shown to bolster positivity, says Dr Holstein. Scientists at the University
of Bristol discovered that contact with microorganisms in the soil
stimulates production of serotonin, the feel-good chemical in your brain. So, ditch the gloves and get your hands dirty!
Contd on Page 2
