Dr. Matiur Rahman & Shishir Reza :
Insult is defined as an expression or statement (or sometimes behavior) which is disrespectful or scornful. Insults may be intentional or accidental. An insult may be factual, but at the same time pejorative. Almost any action can operate as an Insult Signal if it is performed out of its appropriate context- at the wrong time or in the wrong place. The category of insults is as uninterested, boredom, impatience, superiority, deformed-compliment, mock-discomfort, rejection, mockery, symbolic and dirt signals. Insult is also determined both by the individual social situation and by changing social mores.
In an article published in gulf news mentioned insults may not always be intentional, but they do leave an emotional scar. Ridicule, satire, rudeness, humiliation and so on happen everywhere- inside our homes, in the workplace, institution and in society. Insults are not a recent phenomenon. Neither is an insult restricted to any geographical region or race.
So what makes an individual want to insult someone? When is an insult justified? What are the intrinsic reasons people insult others? Is the intent always to hurt? The psychology of insults is vast, spanning cultural subtexts and first human emotion.
Insults involve two parties, a perpetrator and a target, and possibly an audience. There are often no insults without a perpetrator or an insulted party. A remark or action intended as an insult but not registered or experienced as one by its target, can hardly be said to constitute an insult, even if an audience recognized the intention.
But why are some people so compelled to seek out that weakness and inflict harm on others? Hate could be a reason. As the German-Swiss poet, novelist and painter Hesse once said: “If you hate an individual, you hate something in him that’s a part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”
A few psychologists believe we all have a side of our personality that we don’t like to expose or speak of. This is where we hide away the qualities we think of as undesirable and negative, and all of the physical, verbal and emotional abuse we might have once suffered.
When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to flee handling the pain or trauma experienced or as how to exert control over another person and feel powerful.
People also insult because they simply don’t know any better. They repeat the common patterns present in the environments they are exposed to – home, work, institution and where insulting becomes a habit to function or deal with problems.
It is no surprise that there is an array of ways to degrade, offend, humiliate and unleash that anger in people. Insults can be verbal, consisting of mocking invective, cutting remarks, negative stereotypes, rudeness or straight swearing.
Insults can also be performed in deed, as when valued objects are defamed, symbols desecrated, gifts returned or invitations refused. Insults can be brutal, unambiguous and direct, as in cases of indecent gestures or racist and sexual harassment. They can also be subtle, residing in innuendo or facial expression, leaving room for a face-saving retreat or an affected disregard by the aggrieved party. Insult is never morally justified.
Words and behaviors are also interpreted differently by individuals, depending on their values and cultures. After all, it’s a person’s culture that shapes his or her attitudes and how he or she functions. Our internalized values, associated with region, country, gender then on will play a big role in how we understand what’s said and done to us.
Insults strike directly at a person’s feelings, self-esteem, pride, identity and ego. So, no matter why an insult happens or how it happens or when it happens, the truth of the matter is it will leave a scar.
Insult or any verbal or emotional abuse can destroy a person’s self-esteem and greatly impair psychological development and social interaction. Children who experience traumatic emotional or verbal abuse, insult or bullying can suffer from a deficit in attention, intelligence, memory and in the ability to feel and express emotions appropriately. Insult and emotional abuse can be manifested, in both children and adults, through depression, isolation, social withdrawal, severe anxiety, fearfulness, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours, physical complaints and even substance abuse.
In spite of these Sigmund Freud mentioned that “out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” Although you have no control over what other people think or do, you can have complete power over your reactions if you get in touch with your feelings and stay focused. Keep in mind that insults will affect you, but cannot enter your mind and generate certain reactions unless you allow them to. You are the only person who owns your thoughts and behaviors. Be a peaceful warrior. You will win the fight by not fighting at all.
(Dr. Matiur Rahman is Research Consultant, Human Development Research Centre and Shishir Reza is Environmental Analyst & Associate Member, Bangladesh Economic Association).
