Dr. Syed Nesar Ahmad Rumy :
Recently family values and reciprocal respects are decaying alarmingly. Whereas about fifty years back family values and reciprocal respects were much better than the days we are passing now in our society. Especially in the urban areas this trend (lack of family values) is going up alarmingly. Often we see this sort of news in the newspapers and electronic media. With the time, nuclear family concept dominates our society and subjective interests are manifested in every sphere of our family lives. We know there are some advantages and disadvantages in both the families that is nuclear and joint family.
In the rural areas, Joint family concept is still fighting for its existence. The village we see now is not exactly what we had seen fifty years ago. With the time many things have changed. Social mobilization, social mobility, customs and many other conventions turn new shapes which are not conforming to our age-old culture and heritage. Though we know, change is inevitable for the development of anything and it is one of the prerequisites of development in the society. At the same time the people of urban areas are also in the changing process of life style and customs rapidly. In Bangladesh, most of the urban people are the first generation of their lineage. Still now many of them are carrying the legacies of their family heritages and views of their forefathers.
Showing respects to the seniors is very much common in our century old heritage. Bengali Muslim culture is that offspring should pay Salam to their parents and the equals as well. This is also applicable and seen in Santana religion and other religious minorities in Bangladesh. This is our true culture, heritage and custom irrespective of caste, creed and religion. But nowadays different incidents happening in our societies indicate that respects to parents and seniors, teachers, senior citizens are decaying very fast. This is not a peaceful, lovely or ideal situation that we usually dream. Subjective interests are becoming so dominant and powerful that respects, dignity, showing softness to weak persons/people are being degraded off and on. Recently happened two incidents have caught the eyes of sensible persons in our society which are very much uncommon and tragic events. By any consideration these are not synonymous to our heritage and culture.
One incident published in the national newspaper that is very much unnatural and not conforming to the values our society and norms. The news published on 15.08.2022 with this caption mentioned in the bracket (father assaulted, mugged by sons, 4 including two brothers held). The story is that one Joynal Abedin of Manikdi area, father of six offspring and his wife used to live in with their eldest son. But for some disagreements with some family members Joynal and his wife were beaten by their son and they had to leave that house. Although Joynal had to pay major shares of the rent of that house they lived. As a result of this dilemma, later Joynal and his wife took shelter to their youngest son. But again some disagreements appeared and they had to leave their youngest son’s house and started living with their physically challenged daughter’s house. As it is reported all of his sons are solvent and they have hardware business. The situation goes as usual but after selling of two kathas land by Joynal at a cost of 31 lakh taka the situation goes worse. His sons wanted share of that money. They also apprehended that their father would give money to their sister. So they made a plan to grab that money from Joynal. As somehow informed Joynal’s two sons fixed one of their employees of the shop to snatch the money from Joynal.
On the day of the incident, Joynal and his son-in-law going to his house by motor bike. Near the house the hired person and his associates one Sohel stopped the motor bike and started beating Joynal and his son-in-law. Amidst this incident Joynal’s sons standing nearby came to the spot and snatched the money from Joynal possession. Of these consequences Joynal became injured and took treatment into a local clinic. Police arrested two sons and one of their associates, it is reported.
What lesson we have gotten from this incidents is very much alarming for our society. It is not unusual that there might have some disagreements among the family members in our society. But such type of incident mentioned above is very much unusual in our society. Our social thinkers and leaders should take cognizance of such type of incidents and we all should try to minimize this sort of incidents from our respective ends.
The 2nd incident happened at Rangpur was more dangerous in nature. Here son strangled his mother to death and mother was buried by her son into the floor of their house. This news was published in a Bengali daily on 25.08.22. The incident as described in the newspaper follows:
One Jamila Khatun disappeared and the locals could not find her out anywhere. Her son did not say anything about his mother to the neighbours. But after some queries neighbours found some symptoms in the floor of Jamila’s home. Then they suspected her son named Jamil. In presence of some neighbours some of them dug the floor and found a dead body. Then they identified the dead body as Jamila. After that the people present there caught her son and handed him over to the police. Later Jamil, victim’s son, admitted to the police that for want of money he strangled his mother to death. By any account this is a heinous crime and Jamil was so desperate that for want of money he killed his mother. This sort of incident is very rare and unusual in our society. Different time we get the news of many unnatural incidents happening in our families and society. We also get the news of cruelty to the child by stepmother or even parents. Often this sort of news gets the newspaper as ‘box item’.
All these incidents indicate that our society is passing with unbalanced situation. Family values, good parenting are decreasing day by day in our society. And gradually this uncertainty is rising. It would be beneficial to all of us if we could get out of this situation of our society in the days to come. This is the high time to grip strongly the bridle chains of such type of incidents.
(The writer is former civil servant and freelancer).
